This day seemed hopeless. Going through traffic on my way home from school I faced the usual frantic and pitiless commuters. As traffic increased the thoughts circulating through my mind were rather unpleasant. As I approached a red light I felt a vibration on my leg, irritated I looked down to see an incoming call from my father. Being flooded with the anxiety of school and the hideous traffic situation I was not very enthusiastic for having a little chit chat with the big man, which usually consists of me being scolded for procrastinating too much. I ignored the call and put the phone away, within seconds I felt another vibration, I looked to see that I have 3 text messages from my maternal cousins. The first one read “Gadaffi was just shot!!” The second one read “LIBYA IS OFFICIALLY FREE.” Immediately my mother came to mind, she comes from a Libyan heritage and has three sisters and four brothers in Libya, with whom we lost contact for a long period. My mother would shudder when she heard reporters on the television delivering the numbers of recent casualties, but always kept hope.
Muammar Gadaffi was the ruler of Libya since 1969, when he lead a military coup which overthrew king Idris. He abolished the former Libyan constitution, and pushed his own ideologies towards the people. In 2011 the freedom of the press index labeled Libya the most censored state in the Middle East and North Africa. About 20.74% of Libyan citizens were unemployed, and about one-third lived below the national poverty line. Over 16% of families had none of its members earning a stable income, while 43.3% had just one. As time progressed the people of Libya were fed up with the lack of freedom and the increase of political corruption, as a result they put on protests in February, in which over 500 protesters took part. Being inspired by the Egyption and Tunisian revolution the National Conference for the Libyan Opposition asked that all groups opposed to the Gaddafi government protest on February 17th. The protest resulted in protesters being fired at with live ammunition. Later Rebel forces were created in order to fight the Gadaffi government, and violence continued on until the day i received those text messages.
Muammar Gadaffi was the ruler of Libya since 1969, when he lead a military coup which overthrew king Idris. He abolished the former Libyan constitution, and pushed his own ideologies towards the people. In 2011 the freedom of the press index labeled Libya the most censored state in the Middle East and North Africa. About 20.74% of Libyan citizens were unemployed, and about one-third lived below the national poverty line. Over 16% of families had none of its members earning a stable income, while 43.3% had just one. As time progressed the people of Libya were fed up with the lack of freedom and the increase of political corruption, as a result they put on protests in February, in which over 500 protesters took part. Being inspired by the Egyption and Tunisian revolution the National Conference for the Libyan Opposition asked that all groups opposed to the Gaddafi government protest on February 17th. The protest resulted in protesters being fired at with live ammunition. Later Rebel forces were created in order to fight the Gadaffi government, and violence continued on until the day i received those text messages.
As i stared at my steering wheel pondering about what will happen next, I heard two continuous sharp horns edging me on to go since the light just turned green. After hearing the good news I didn’t even bother to give a slight tap of the horn for retaliation. On my way home I was a bit skeptical on the details surrounding the death of Gadaffi, because I thought it was too soon for him to be both suddenly apprehended and killed in the same day, but I hoped for the best. There was an incredible feeling of both joy and relief for my mother since she had endured a lot of emotional hardship, concerning her family and not having contact with them, and for the people of Libya who struggled through day to day life, living under a tyrant. As I pulled onto my driveway my heart was racing, the thought of opening the door to my families cheering faces greeting me and embracing me into their arms with tears flowing. But as I opened the door I was in shock.
I saw my family sitting at the television screen with an extreme look of shock in their eyes. I turned my head towards the television screen and I saw many Libyan rebels brutally beating up and verbally abusing Gadaffi in Arabic. It was a horrific sight, he was bloody and looked rather confused and was trying to say something as everyone beat him. My father saw me and said in a shaky tone “my son our brothers and sisters can smell the fragrance of freedom.” My father told my younger brothers to go on into their rooms, for this was not something for them to see. My eyes turned towards my mother who looked at the Television screen silently with tears flowing down her face. I ran to her and gave her a hug and she patted my head and told me that my grandpa called from Libya and told her that her brothers and sisters are safe and with him. I could not help but to burst into tears because In reality I had lost all hope for them, because of the continuous massacres in Libya. I went towards my father and gave him a hug.
Great writing Khan! The narative is very effective and I recommend you keep it for your revision. An error I found was in the tone. Make sure you write in a past tense. Some of the sentences started out present and then turned past. To give the writing more content, you could write more about what was going on in Libya. Maybe add some quotes from the news show you were watching. Overall, this is a great text and I look forward to reading your revision!
ReplyDeleteKhan-
ReplyDeleteThis is probably the most interesting, exciting, heart-felt post that I have read. You did such an amazing job bringing in your own voice and style to this post. Your story is so intense and so chilling that I could not stop reading.
The vocabulary and sentence structures you used were used in a way that captured my attention through out the whole post. I was able to put myself in your shoes and sympathize what you went through and what you were feeling that day. Also, I could feel every emotion that you were feeling in those moments when you were in the car, at home, hugging your mother, etc. I can’t even imagine what your family has been through, but the moments that you portrayed gives readers just enough insight to understand what was running through your mind. This is such a great post. You definitely deserve a 110% on this post. Awesome job.
Hi, Khan.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget to post your revision as a new entry, i.e. Post #4.
D. Kopp